Why “Trying Harder” Doesn’t Work for ADHD Brains

If I had a pound for every time someone told me to “just try harder,” I’d probably own a distillery by now, and honestly, I’d deserve it.

Because if there’s one thing ADHD brains are not short of, it’s effort. We are constantly trying. Trying to stay organised, to be on time, to finish what we start, to remember that thing we swore we wouldn’t forget.

It’s not that we don’t care. It’s not that we’re lazy. It’s just… our wiring’s a bit different.

The ADHD brain doesn’t regulate dopamine (the motivation chemical) in the same way as neurotypical brains. That means effort alone isn’t enough. If something’s genuinely interesting or urgent, we’re unstoppable. But if it’s boring, repetitive, or unclear? Forget it. It’s like trying to start a car with no battery. You can keep turning the key, but nothing’s going to happen.

So when someone says, “just try harder,” what they’re really saying is, “ignore your brain chemistry and hope for the best.” Which, shockingly, doesn’t work.

Instead, we end up with a lovely cocktail of shame (“Why can’t I do what everyone else seems to manage?”), burnout (“If I just keep pushing, maybe I’ll get it right this time…”), and avoidance (“If I don’t start, I can’t fail again”). It’s exhausting. And that invisible guilt, the whisper that says, I’m failing at things other people find easy , is what really hurts.

Here’s the truth: ADHD brains don’t need more effort. They need better design.

So stop white-knuckling your way through. Try differently, not harder. Set up your environment so success doesn’t depend on willpower. Use timers, body doubling, music, deadlines, accountability - whatever gets your dopamine flowing. And when you do start? Celebrate it. LOUDLY! Because for ADHD brains, starting is often the hardest and most heroic part.

You’re not broken. You’re just built differently, and once you work with that, everything gets easier.

Where could you make something simpler instead of harder this week?

If this resonates, Individual Coaching can help you design systems that fit your brain, not fight it.